These past few weeks have been quite challenging in the discipline area with the boys. Mostly Lucas, but Cohen is definitely not taken of out the equation. Not only has Lucas’ behavior turned from easy child to the terrible two’s but my lack of mobility doesn’t help the situation either.
This week I have put the boys in time out, yelled, put them in their rooms, taken toys away, taken the tv away so many times that I couldn’t even give you an accurate number of them. Yesterday was by far the worst. They were in HORRIBLE moods – Lucas throwing the typical flaring arms / kicking legs tantrums because something doesn’t go his way & Cohen being disobedient on purpose! The fits from Lucas are annoying, but the whining / crying is tolerable because I know that most of it is from frustration with his communication while trying to be independent. Cohen’s little attitude / laughing at me when in trouble on the other hand, not so tolerable.
I’m pretty sure I’ve said all of these things in the last two weeks:
- “Have you lost your mind?!”
- “Are you freaking kidding me?!”
- “What in the world is wrong with you?!”
- “Listen to my words!”
- “How many times have I told you to {insert whatever was told here}”
- “I’m seriously going to lose MY mind if you don’t stop!”
I’m not proud of the above things I’ve said – but hey – I’m just being real here. Disciplining a 2 yr old & a 2yr old is no joke. I truly had the thought of – How in the hell am I going to do this with infant twins in a few weeks?! (for those of you who don’t curse – please excuse my use of the word “hell” as that’s about the only curse word you’ll ever really hear me say / type – blame my italian family) After my rough morning yesterday, and reason for no post, I headed to bible study despite really considering staying home and wallowing in my despair.
Things didn’t get better people. I’m talking I’ve never seen Lucas throw a fit like this before. It was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. My dear friend Gabby went in to take over for me – she’s the ONE friend of mine who can calm my children as if it were me! Sometimes I get her to help me because they will calm down quicker with her than me. (and she’s moving away from me!!! what am i going to do?!!) Anyway, she was trying to console Lucas – for almost 15 minutes – Cohen then started freaking out bc he saw how distraught Lucas was and ran out of the children’s room into our bible study SCREAMING! Me = embarrassed! I bring him over to me, we talk about his feelings, and I allowed him to have a little snack with us and then he was to go back into the room with the other children. He did exactly that. Lucas in the meantime was still screaming so I knew the only thing that would calm him was me. I went and relieved poor Gabby and brought Lucas into the study with me. He just laid on my tummy with his head on my chest.
At this point, the entire bible study children’s room was pretty crazy. Crying, screaming – LOUD children. My sweet friend Haley who runs the study stopped and said – this study is about prayer – we need to pray for the children this morning. We all stopped our study and began our prayer. {We are reading the book: What Happens When Women Pray by: Evelyn Christenson} And people…..do you know that within minutes that entire room became a quiet lull AND Lucas ended up falling asleep on me. For the rest of the study those kids were quiet – and if it was a little louder – it was filled with laughter. Lucas slept the entire study on my tummy – squishing his sisters.
I guess the point to all of this is that throughout this whole struggle of my challenging children – I never stopped to PRAY for them & our attitudes. How in the world do I expect their behavior and MY behavior to change if I’m not asking the Lord for help?! In the book, she calls this an SOS prayer. – “SOS, Lord. Give me the attitude You want me to have.” So, that’s where I am today. Today has been a good day. I’ve said many “SOS prayers” and although my children have still had their moments of challenge, I don’t feel defeated.
How do you overcome the challenges your children bring you?
Thank you for your encouraging words, once again, Michelle. I am never proud of being at the end of my rope, and it happens more often then not. I am sure that if I told my 4 yr old we should sit down and pray, things would change immediately. I certainly need to remember that more often, and know that even though I am at home by myself, my God is never far and He can do far more with my attitude and my children’s if I just take the time to talk to Him. Why is that so difficult to do in the heat of a problem.
Every mom has been at the end of that rope at some point and/or said one or more of those things you list in your post. I promise you that. I have been in exactly your shoes and I only have one girl! She’s a major personality, though, and the tantrums have been supreme. You are right, though, that it is too easy to forget the power of prayer. To some, it may seem silly to stop and pray in those horrible moments when you think you and your child are both beyond reason. But I’m going to give that one a try as we continue to work through these stages of growth together. Thanks for your openness and honesty. Hope you and the gang are having a better day today!
Oh, and I’m e-mailing you about my “love letter” to the Husband, as you asked.
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Your a rock star Michelle
God sent a slew of angels into that Chapel and stilled those babies. Gives me chills just thinking about what a mighty God we serve!!
Wow! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I have a Lucas too, and he is ALWAYS quite the challenge. Although it is my almost 6 year old, Jonah, who has been making me feel like pulling my hair out this week. That sounds like a book I would like to read. I LOVE the idea of an SOS prayer! Any limit on how many times a day I can use it? LOL!
My daughter has been the same way the past week or two, and it’s so exhausting- and that’s only with one. I definitely have been feeling guilty for a lack of patience, but it’s overwhelming sometimes.
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In this age of world children are most challenging and look after them is really more difficult. Now a days the environment changed due to which they get the early change.
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Great post!! My soon to be 2 yr old has been driving me crazy! Challenging me at every turn & I never thought once to pray for him or for myself. Thank you
Being very sick and pregnant I feel like I am at the end of my rope a lot lately… with a 2 year old and 4 year old in toe… I so needed to read this! Thanks!