Most of you know I started off the girls on breastmilk. Little Abby had a feeding tube so she got formula and whatever I could express but once she had it removed I put her on. By week 2 I was tandem nursing the girls and things were going SO great. They would eat every 2.5-3 hrs during the day and about 3-5hrs at night. At about 3.5 wks the girls went through a growth spurt and would SCREAM after their nursing sessions. I ended up supplementing them with formula to see if it was just that I wasn’t producing enough milk. Sure enough it was. The girls went back to being happy ladies.
{Livia}
Fast-forward a week and the girls were getting lazy on me. They’d only nurse for about 10 minutes and would then scream until they had a bottle. It was so awful that I eventually threw the towel in and exclusively pumped and gave them what I could get mixed with formula. I felt better about this because I knew they were still getting my milk but getting enough to fill their tummies. You see, when I’d pump my sessions output went like this: 9oz, 6oz. 4oz, 2-3oz the rest of the day. That definitely was NOT enough for 2 hungry little girls.
Move on to this week. My days were filled with feeding each girl her bottle, pumping and by the time I was finished I was close to feeding the girls again or having just enough time to throw some laundry in the wash. I was frustrated beyond belief. I missed my boys!!!! SO – I thought I’d try to get them back on with nursing. If I was nursing one of them it went fine – but both of them together?! awful!!! The problem here lies in the fact that each girl would need to nurse for like an hour to actually get what they need (and I only know this bc it takes them about 20-30 minutes to finish their 3-4oz bottle). Frankly I don’t have the time for that! I have two little boys who miss playing with their Mommy & I have a house to take care of on top of it.
{Abigail}
I’ve been going back and forth on what to do and how to solve my “problem” and I’ve concluded that although breast is best for baby, it may not always be best for Mommy & family (wise words from my midwife). I’ve had major Mommy-guilt with the idea of taking away the breastmilk so my solution is to pump when I can and give them my milk for as long as I have it.
I really think I feel guilty because of the massive pressure everyone puts on Moms to give their babies breastmilk. I have to remind myself that if these were my only babies, the twins, then I know I’d totally go for nursing them because I’d have the time to! The cards change when you put in 2 active little boys that want to play with their Mommy too. I’m not sure all the breastfeeding advocates out there really realize the nature that everyone’s situation is different and no kid ever suffered from getting formula. My husband and I are both products of formula {and I was a 3lbs – 8wk early preemie} and I think we turned alright…well mostly. 
All this being said, I’m glad I’ve finally made my decision. To be honest I had been going back and forth for so long and then finally prayed about it. I didn’t get an answer right away but this morning I finally had a peace about it – no guilt. I’d say that’s an answer to prayer. 
When that peace comes, you just know
Good for you Michelle!
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Good for you Michelle. I am glad you were able to make peace with this. I know it has been bothering you. Hugs!
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You are totally right. You have to do what is best for your family!
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Never feel guilty. Happy babies = happy mommy!
Good for you for knowing what is best for you and your family. I’m a big advocate of breastfeeding, but with both of my youngest two, it just didn’t work. I finally reached a point where I got over feeling guilty about giving them formula and they’re now happy, healthy (healthier overall than my exclusively bf kids!) 6 and 2 1/2 year-olds. Hope you can find the balance in being a mom of 4 (or we just go insane and think we’re really fine).
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I had the same issue with my second. I had just started in-home daycare and had 4 other kids (18 months – 3) in the house. At 3 months, I couldn’t handle it anymore so I started pumping and giving him the bottle. He got lazy just like the girls so I just pumped for as long as I could. Once I got over the guilt, it was the best thing for everyone. My 3rd and 4th boys have been the exact opposite and refuse to take a bottle of anything. In the end, we do the best we can and pray for healthy happy kids. The girls are beautiful Michelle!
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Man, what is it with mom quilt and unanswered questions about producing enough breast milk. I had to get over it too.. and still it is just a mystery to me. I haven’t been able to exclusively nurse my babies and it was so frustrating–so many mom’s make gallons of milk and don’t have to give it a second thought and then there is the rest of us who know one ever says anything about–so very isolating. You are doing a fantastic job at being mommy and everything else that comes with it. You have to know what is best for you and your family, so good for you.
I’m SO proud of you!!! Breastfeeding was a NIGHTMARE with both of my girls, so I’ve decided not to do it with this baby on the way. I will have a 2 year old, a 1 year old and a newborn. Fighting the nursing battle isn’t something I can handle too. I agree that breast is best for the baby…but not always for the whole family. You have to look at each member of your family and decide what is best, and I’m so proud of you for doing that!! Shoot, I’m impressed you even tried with twins
You are a rockstar in my book!!!
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I think there are pros and cons to both breastmilk and formula, and I know that as mamas we are always trying to do the EXACT BEST THING for our little ones – but sometimes there just isn’t a “best” thing! I think whatever you think is right is usually right – and I agree with you on the pressure to breastfeed that exists – why can’t midwives/society just SUPPORT a mama instead of making her feel guilty about doing what’s best for her WHOLE family (including, ahem, her all important self!?)? Your girls look gorgeous and well, so you’re obviously doing an AMAZING job – keep at it, Momma Bird! x
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Your little girls are just precious. What a blessing.
Sometimes I feel bloggers and people on Facebook act like its everyone business to know these sorts of things. However you want to feed your babies, do it, and don’t feel like you have to stress and let the world know. They are beautiful!!
Congrats on your two beautiful girls!! They are so amazingly perfect! And don’t feel bad about the formula! You have to do whats best for your fam AND yourself! I had to do this with my second because me first had just turned a year when she was born and I just couldn’t do it all!
XOXO!!
You shouldn’t feel guilty anyway. You have to do what’s best for the family! I’m glad you were able to come to a decision that works for you. Your kids are all beautiful, btw!!
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So proud of you! Exactly, you the mommy and daddy know the best decision for family. Not some crazies that don’t know your situation! Your family is just beautiful by the way!
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You should never feel guilty about doing what’s best for everyone overall! The girls are just beautiful!
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I am glad you are at peace with your decision. The picture 4th from top of both the girls looks like the are on a roller coaster ride. One loving it and the other not so much. Wheee!
I had the same problem with my little girl. She was a colicky baby and would nurse up to two hours at a time to be satisfied. The second I heard my son say ” mom only loves Ava! she never plays anymore” I quit. We were all 100 times happier,
You shouldn’t feel guilty one way or another. I think that your midwife said it best. Just because it might be “best” for the girls, doesn’t mean that it is for you or for your family. You do what you have to do.
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you must never feel guilty about doing what’s best for everyone overall! The girls are just adorable!doesn’t mean that it is for you or for your family. You do what you should do.
I can’t tell you the guilt I felt the first time we had to use formula. I just wasn’t producing enough and was exhausted but felt like I was doing some horrible thing depriving my baby of breastmilk. But you know, I realized something. That saying shouldn’t be Breast is Best. Because I mean come on. Get real here. It’s amazing to breast feed and breast milk is great but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. And that is ok! I am so glad you don’t feel guilty anymore. I do the same. Pump what I can and supplement the rest. our baby is healthy and growing and to me that is all that matters. Kudos to you for writing about this!!
I had this same problem, but I did not have twins. My daughter exclusively nursed for probably a month before the screams started after feeding. Which was better than with my first who lost weight and I had no choice but to supplement. She is 7 months old and I finally decided to switch to full formula. I should have done it a long time ago for my sanity and time with my son. She nursed and had a bottle up until around 5 months and then gradually started fighting nursing, so I began pumping at all feedings but the morning. That just gets tiring, having to feed them a bottle and pump! So I feel you, it is not always best for a Mom. I couldn’t imagine going through it with twins. You are super mom!
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