An affair may also be referred to as cheating. It is a sexual relationship or a romantic involvement that occurs without the knowledge of the other person’s significant other. There are various ways in which a partner may cheat on a spouse.
1. The Two-Faced Affairs
When we say a man is leading a double life, what it means is that he has little or no emotional attachment to the spouse. Usually, he is committed to the marriage and would want it to work, but still, there is something he lacks. He may be longing for some sort of intimacy, romance, to be adored or loved, something he does not get in his marriage.
In most cases, when the opportunity presents itself, the man is likely to have his unsatisfied needs satisfied by another woman. He will do this in secret since he does not want the spouse to find out and sabotage his marriage. This type of marriage is usually a semi-happy one where a husband wants to have his cake and eat it. He quickly evolves into a professional liar.
This type of affair is usually a painful one for the other woman and the cheating husband since the wife is kept in the dark, and what you don’t know won’t kill you. Some of these cheating husbands justify their wayward ways by convincing themselves that their side affairs make them better spouses to their unsuspecting wives.
2. The Non-physical Emotional Affairs
This is less destructive than an actual sexual affair, right? Wrong. Shockingly, an non-physical emotional affair is as, if not more, destructive as a sexual affair. The man uses the absence of the physical part of an affair to rationalize why it is not a real affair.
Often, it is misinterpreted as a very close friendship. The emotional investment in the other relationship is what steals from the marriage. It is characterized by flirting and a lot of sexual tension. The only thing that stops them from the actual physical affair may be distance or their conscience. However, it is still an affair, whichever way you look at it.
3. The Impulsive One-night Stand Affairs
This is an unplanned, impulsive, heat of the moment, type of affair. Such affairs are usually encouraged by alcohol or other drugs’ intake. One can, therefore, argue that the man was not in his right state of mind. It may happen with someone known to the man, but often it is with a stranger. Your husband probably has low self-esteem and is looking for anyone who can make them feel better about themselves or more wanted.
After it happens, the man is “eaten” up by guilt and would not want to be found out. However, if it happens for a second, third, or a fourth time, it is a dangerous trend that could serially get out of hand.
4. An Exit Strategy Affairs
As the name suggests, the man is not happy in his marriage. He is looking for an excuse to walk out of it. It doesn’t mean he does not love his wife. However, he only loves her in a platonic way. In a way, such a man could be testing the waters to see how he will cope after he finally leaves. The start of such affairs is typically a friendship, where the two friends rant about how unhappy they are in their marriages. Eventually, they become romantically involved.
5. The Serial Cheater
Tiger Woods is an excellent example of this type of cheating. He had an addiction to sex, which saw him get into numerous affairs. People with this type of affair claim to be happily married. However, they have obsessive and uncontrollable sexual needs that usually require professional help to overcome. A married sex addict does not want his marriage to fail since the problem is with him and not the marriage. It is tough for a spouse to empathize with a sexually addicted partner. Such marriages often end in break-ups and divorces.
6. Love-is-the-Drug-for-me Affairs
These types of affairs are borne out of the need for the vigour that comes with new relationships, which could involve sex. This love addict hops from one relationship to another and is never at ease when not in an intense relationship. Love addicts are always looking for ‘the one,’ who is never within reach. Although marriage gives them a feeling of an assured future, they are uncertain if the person they are with is the right one. As such, they often hang on the fence of their marriage, with one foot in and the other one out.
7. Revenge affair
The sole purpose of a revenge affair is to make the other spouse feel bad or to even out a score (you cheated, so I am cheating to get back at you). Few marriages can stand after such actions. Revenge affairs are also very rampant among narcissistic people. When your narcissistic husband suspects you are seeing someone else and are likely to get intimate with them, he goes out and cheats before you do so he can satisfy his ego. This gives him a false sense of having the upper hand. He may choose to have an affair with a mutual friend to hurt you even more.
Affairs almost always end up in broken marriages. Their effects are likely to be felt years after the affair itself. A marriage that survives an affair needs time to rebuild trust and return to where it was before the affair.